Respected Aunties,

I am not disputing the fact that you once put the Hema Malinis' of the world to shame. However that was about half a million years ago. This letter is to strongly bring to your notice that we, the young innocent men aged 20-25 who travel in the public buses of our city do not intend to tease/ leer/ molest you at all. We would rather French kiss a Walrus. So next time our hand accidentally brushes your hand or we fall against you when the bus gives a sudden brake, kindly desist from giving the hurt and outraged look of an innocent 16 year old. What you are imagining as the red lusty look on our faces is merely the pain when our elbow accidentally collided with your hipbone.

It is bad enough when all Bollywood /Tam/Gult movies portray us as maniacs who are waiting for the slightest chance to bump against nubile young girls. That's true enough. But the operative words here are young and nubile. We solemnly promise you that the jasmine in your hair or the kanjeevaram sari you wear is not exactly what we fantasize about. Though your decision of putting half your body outside the bus though the window so that we don't brush against you accidentally certainly gives us a lot of space to sit comfortably, it pains us. We worry that a passing pole would accidentally knock you back against us and you would die of a coronary thrombosis.

I know...

that you read lurid paperbacks about macho heroes who rescue their heroines from impossible situations. One look at your pot bellied Brahmin husband and you feel like throwing the novel at him. So you try to imagine romance and intrigue where none exists. We are in sympathy. Our wives will probably face the same thing in 20 years time. But while we still have ample hair on the head and only the beginnings of a potbelly (which we can hide under a shirt of the right fit), please let us go about our business of attracting the PYTs in peace.

Yours respectfully,
Young Men Bus Travel Association

- by Srinath Sridhar