'Dhoom Machale (..machale)/ C'mon you people/ Ta. Ta. Tatatatatata' .

Damn I can't get that tune outta my head! I've tried everything - slapping myself everytime I sing it, counting sheep, drinking karela juice, making the sheep drink karela juice - but nothing seems to work. And the song is the only addictive part about D:2. Unless of course you're a giggly kid with a crush on Hrithik, in which case you should be a good girl (boy?) and remember to wipe your drool from time to time. And don't forget the deodorant, because well..the movie's a bit stinky.

There's Abhishek Bachchan (Jai Dixit ) who sports a pissed-off expression throughout the movie. But then if you have Uday Chopra ( Ali ) hanging around you all day, you're bound to be pissed off. Jai's pregnant wife Sweety (Rimi Sen) adds to the irritation factor. If this wasn't enough, ACP Shonali Bose (Bipasha Basu) jumps into the fray, looks hot for a while and dances to songs that go like 'Oooohh yeeaahhh Touch me touch me sohniye ooooh yeaahh'. And then there's Mr. A ( Hrithik ), the thief with a million disguises, who hogs footage by walking, jumping and picking his nose, all in slow motion. He pulls off a few audacious heists, and vamooses on rollerblades, leaving choppers and superbikes in the lurch. And get this - Aishwarya Rai's character is called Sunheri. To be more precise, she's Sunheri, from Andheri. I shit you not.

First of all, who the...

f*** calls their kid Sunheri? If you're a bhaiyya from UP, you might just name your 3rd cow Sunheri. And even then, all the other cows would make fun of her and then she'd need therapy, thereby causing your dairy profits to go down by 34.7 %.

Although money's never a problem at Yashraj, as is evident with D:2. A large part of it has been shot in Rio De Janeiro, and the stuntwork is decent by Bollywood standards. But with about 34216 songs, it's as enjoyable as an enema. For maximum viewing pleasure, go watch it with a huge, raucous group of friends and throw popcorn at each other during the boring parts. Believe me, you're gonna need a *lot* of popcorn.