The makers call it a tribute to love. It's more like a tribute to Love, Actually. And a 3.5 hour one at that. But with six storylines, did you expect any less?

There's the madly-in-love married couple, Ashutosh and Tehzeeb (John and Vidya) who just can't get their hands off each other. She's a TV reporter, he's an editor and they're both oh-so-lovey-dovey. Not for long though, for she meets with a horrific accident that takes their relationship to breaking point.

Then there's the dreary, London existence of Vinay Malhotra (Anil Kapoor), a 40-year old executive who's frustrated with his picture-perfect life. His boredom leads him away from his loving wife Seema (Juhi Chawla), to the much younger and exciting Anjali (Anjana Sukhani).

Soon-to-be-married Shiven Dungarpur (Akshaye Khanna) realises, just days before his marriage, that the saat-pheras ain't his cup of tea. Hilarity ensues when he attemps to get dumped by his fiance Gia (Ayesha Takia).

Raju (Govinda), a Dilli cabbie, is forever on the lookout for his sapnon-ki-rani. He's sure that one day, a blonde maiden - any damn 'gori mem' - shall walk out the airport terminal and waltz into his life, bells ringing, flower shower et al. Stephanie (Shannon Esra) does land in India, but only to get her NRI boyfriend back...

Kkamini (Priyanka Chopra) is an item-girl, who creates an imaginary lover called Rahul, all for the sake of landing a role in the next K.Jo film (don't ask). But oodi baba..eh ki..a badly-accented Rahul (Salman Khan) emerges out of...

nowhere and claims to be Kkamini's lover.

Newly-wed Ram Dayal (Sohail Khan) can't wait to get in the sack with his bride Phoolwati (Isha Koppikar). But a mix of bad luck and stupidity always tends to screw things up (no pun intended). Ramdayal's desperation to get laid leads to a lot of slapstick and nothing else.

The film goes from being warm and funny, to painfully inane. John and Vidya are engaging in their tragedy-struck avatars, with John putting up a surprisingly sincere performance. Anil Kapoor is brilliant, as is Juhi who essays her role to endearing perfection. Akshaye Khanna is quite funny, but Ayesha Takia is pretty much wasted. Govinda is a natural as the
hopelessly romantic cabbie who drives around North India, trying to get his Lady Love to the man of her dreams. Priyanka Chopra looks hot (doesn't she always?), but has a dopey Salman Khan and an irritating script for company. Watch out for her conversation with Anil Kapoor in a London cafe though.

Salaam E Ishq, flitting between Mumbai, Delhi, London (apart from other locations), does have its moments, but they're too far apart to really connect with. The music score is a big plus though - I still haven't got the tunes outta my head. Watch this one if you're feeling especially mushy, and can't find a DVD of Love, Actually.