Maria
- Ole, Indian Top 10
She
hosts Indipop shows where she makes Mika sound like a Grammy award
winning legend. She wants us to believe that Latino music is all
about jiggling around wearing tacky Fashion street clothes.
Suggested improvements: Join some aerobic
classes, at least those steps look better than your dance and you’ll
lose
some weight while you’re at it. |
 |
Raageshwari
- Ek Do Teen
After
her Groundbreaking, Pathbreaking, Shit Stupid, God Awful album Y2K,
Raageshwari had an unfortunate paralysis of the face... There’s
justice in the world after all. |
Cyrus
Sahukar- Chill Out
What is a guy like this doing in MTV? A complete misfit, this is
the guy who blends with the wallpaper in a party. He enters a room
and the temperature drops 20 degrees.
Suggested improvements: There’s no
hope for you kid. |
 |
Asif
Hmmm, seriously, i can’t remember him from cyrus. he does’nt
even do a good job of sucking that we can
remember
him.
Advice: Plastic surgery, to make you look as
diferent from Cyrus Sahukar. |
Nafisa
- House Full
Aaah. Is this a mutant with hockey sticks for... oh God, they’re
her real arms. She just gives us some insignificant facts about
films to introduce their trailers to us. “Did you know they
spent 3 months filming that trailer?” Wow, that information
is gonna change my life!! She just drawls on in her comatose state
while looking perpetually anorexic which, basically makes us want
to puke.
Suggested improvements: Get a job as a
mannequin. No one’ll know the difference!!!! |
Amrita
- Cinemascope
Chhoti bhen. Just worships big sister Malaika. Tries to be like
her. So cute!!! Her show’s premise is as lame as the Pakistani
stand on Kashmiri Militants.
Suggested Improvements: Learn to speak
Hindi at least as well as Sonia Gandhi.
|
 |
Nikhil
- MTV Select
He hosts a show where he tries to make some meaningful, life changing
conversation with every loser that calls in. Always insists on growing
grotesque facial hair designs and wearing army dog tags. The other
person who has bad facial hair and wears something military is Veerappan.
Since they come from the same area there just maybe.....
Suggested improvements: Go on, follow your
heart, join the sandalwood trade. No use hiding in the closet about
it. |
 |
Shehnaz
Treasurywala
ARE YOU ONE OF THOSE MORONIC GENETIC DEFECTIVES SENDING LETTERS
TO MTV MOST WANTED? I HOPE NOT BECAUSE IF YOU ARE, THROW THIS ISSUE
AWAY YOU SCHMUCK! JAM CAN DO WITHOUT PEOPLE LIKE YOU!
Pain level: Imagine having a gilt edged
pneumatic drill invade your private parts while having burn wounds
inflicted upon you by an acetylene torch while having salt rubbed
on those wounds while having to listen to Bina Mistry on MTV Most
Wanted. |
‘Maal’
aika - Loveline
Acts like the crossed legged Mother Teresa of love with as much
knowledge about psychology as a neutered bitch. Bimbo who knows
all she must do is just stand there, guys looking at u will give
enough ratings anyway. |
 |
 |
Vj
Lily
The
animated bot who has a voice over of VJ amrita with flange effects.
She is as incompetent as the rest of the VJ bunch, it looks like they
used Powerpoint / Flash to make her. It's amazing how they make 30
minutes of progamming with 5 frames of animation. |
|
Mini
Mathur
She
used to host a flop antakshari show (Hip Hip Hurray).The Talent
scouts at MTV saw amazing potential in her to turn minds into mush..
She was picked up after Home TV went belly up when she won the MTV
VJ hunt along with other genius performers like Cyrus Sahukar.
What
has this world come to!!! There is no god!!!
|
Just
pass VJ...
 |
Cyrus
Broacha- Bakra , Gone Case, Loveline
Has star quality and a genuwine sense of humour. But MTV’s
posterboy has been Over exposed, Over promoted, Over worked. And
it shows. His existence is now that of an old soldier wanting to
gain his lost youth. The goat has gone out of Bakra. Kaun Banega
Kangaal has an air of desperation to it.
Suggested improvements: Take a holiday!
Come back recharged. |
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